POLYAMORY

What is Polyamorous Relationship? Meaning, Types & Myths.

Hey fellows, Are you also listening to the term Polyamory or Polyamorous Nowadays and have been curious about it and wanna know what is it? Then you have come to the right place. In this article, We will explain everything about What is polyamorous Relationship? or, How do Polyamorous Relationships Work?

 

What Is A Polyamorous Or Polyamory Relationship?

Polyamorous word is a mixture of  Ancient Greek and Latin. where Poly From Ancient Greek means Many and Amour from Latin means Love.

Polyamory” word first appeared in the article written by  “Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart” “A Bouquet of Lovers” published May 1990 in “Green egg magazine.”

At some stage in our life, it happens with so many people who are in Committed Relationships that both partners lose the spark of their relationship. In such a situation, most people seek new companies for the same joy and entertainment, But it doesn’t mean that they are not loyal to their partners. Their partners are aware of their new companies or person but they happily accept this person in their partner’s life to live a happy and joyful life this is the simple meaning of Polyamorous or Polyamory.

History

Polyamory Was first introduced to humans in 1840 Oneida community from New York started a different and strange practice under the leadership of  John Noyes.

Over 300 people lived in Oneida and According to the practice all these 300 people were considered married to each other. And saying o to this practice was considered a sin. This is how John Noyes planted the seeds of modern times Polyamory.

Meaning Of Polyamory

Polyamory is a simple non Monogany relationship type in which people tend to have more than one partner and both partners are aware of each other’s multiple relationship statuses. In Polyamory-relationships, people stay open about their multiple relations and set their own desired boundaries according to their understanding and desires. The se*ual desire of a person doesn’t matter in this relationship. You can be straight, gay, lesbian, or bio-se*ual or You can be straight and bio-se*ual at the same time.

Everyone who is in Polyamory relation, Does it in their own way and their interpersonal connection is going to be as unique as the people in them

The Couple Types In Polyamory

Basically, Polyamory has Three types of couples.

  • Throuple.
  • Quad.
  • Vee.

Throuple

In Throuple there are three people in a relationship with each other and They are open about it and usually have the same Romantic and S*xual intimacy in their relationship with each other.

Like In this video this Throuple Dallas, Matt, and Cassie are married to each other. It’s a very good real-life example of the Throuple Polyamory relationship.

Quad

Quad is simply as its name shows it has 4 people dating each other. And have different commitments and bonds towards each other

As like in this video Matt, carmen, Keith, and Brooklyn are a Quad Polyamory couple. where Matt and Carman are married to each other, and Keith and Brooklyn are in a live-in relationship in their house. They are also called Heterosexual, Double couples, or Poly Quad.

In this relationship, Matt is Carmen’s primary partner and Keith is carmen’s secondary partner

Vee

The relationship with secondary partners could be S*xual, Emotional, or could be both. It depends on the people who are in a relationship and what kind of boundaries they would like to keep between each other.

This video features Polygamist Brady Williams and His Five Wives and his family with those wives and his 24 children.

Brady Williams and his 5 wives.
  • Paulie – married 21 years ago.
  • Rhonda – married 14 years ago.
  • Robyn – married 20 years ago.
  • Rosemary – married 19 years ago.
  • Nonie – married 15 years ago.

All of the fives of  Brady are cousins and this Polygamist family has 24 children together. This new-of-a-kind polygamist family lives in rural Utah, United States. The whole family of 30 people Eats dinner together every evening. Only the grocery bill for every month is $4000. To support the expenses of the huge family, some of the wives works and Brady runs a construction company.

Primary and Secondary Partners

Now we know that In a Polyamory relationship there is a vast variety of variations and rules and so on and on. You can set your own boundaries and limitation according to your desires, But in most Polyamory Throuple or Quad couples. There are basically two types of partners Primary partners and Secondary partners.

Primary Partners

To be specific Primary partners are those who are always Their first priority among every partner. Primary partners are the ones with whom you choose to live, get married, or even have kids. Among all the partners with your primary partner, you have the strongest bond, intimacy, and strong Emotional bonding.

Secondary Partners.

Secondary partners are those Who are just rest after the primary partners. With Secondary partners, you don’t tend to have a strong bond as primary partners. But it’s not like they are in your life just to pass your time or to make you feel good when you are in a bad mood or depression. They also hold a specific place in the person’s life.

Type of Polyamory

  • Solo Polyamory.
  • Hierarchical Polyamory
  • Non-hierarchical Polyamory
  • Polyfidelity

Solo Polyamory

Solo polyamory is a Relationship Where an individual person is in multiple relationships but does not owe anyone any kind of explanation or is not bound to any partner’s boundaries. It doesn’t mean the person in Solo Polyamory isn’t giving their 100% for the relationship, They do feel the same for their partners. But in Solo Polyamory, people like to maintain their own privacy and space. In Solo-Polyamory people don’t use to live together or share financial bills. There are no Primary or Secondary partners like other relationship types.

Hierarchical Polyamory

Hierarchical Polyamory Follows some sort of ranking system in this Relation you have a Primary partner or a partner who is your top priority. Where other partners are considered as Secondary or Tertiary.

With your primary partner, You choose to spend most of your time, or you live in with And share your financial bills, In Hierarchical Polyamory Your Prioritise partner take part in your life-changing decision like Changing jobs, Moving House, Having a surgery e.t.c. Where secondary partners are those with whom you choose to spend a little time like Watching movies, Having dinner and lunch, or going shopping, They do not have any power or interface over your decision in life. Where your Primary partner holds a “Veto” power over every other Partner. They can also eliminate a partner with whom they are not comfortable or don’t like. People in Hierarchical Polyamory can also not have Unprotected S*x with their Secondary or Tertiary partners. So they don’t have kids with other partners.

Non-Hierarchical Polyamory.

Non-hierarchical Polyamory Relationship, As its name shows is totally opposite of a Hierarchical Polyamory Relationship. There is no ranking system in this relationship type. Every partner in the relationship holds Equal Priority and Emotional bonding. But there is no Primary partner or a decision-maker in this you take full control of your life while maintaining a nice and Healthy romantic, emotional or se*ual relationship with multiple partners.

Read "Medium.com" a real life experience about Non-hierarchical Polyamory

Polyfidelity

The term Polyfidelity was first brought to light by The New tribe of kerista comune in 1956 from new york city. The Kerista was known for its practices in multiple marriages and called it Polyfidelity. They said “Wash your own dish” Which means no one belongs to anyone else

In Polyfidelity, a small group of people agrees to love each other with no boundaries or to have well maintained romantic and physical relationship. This group can be a Throuple, Quad, or More in numbers, these groups can have 15 members or even more.

Read "Poly.land"a real-life story of the Polyfidelity Relationship.

Myths About Polyamory Relationship.

  • Polyamory is all about Physical Relationships.
  • People in Polyamory are afraid of commitment.
  • Polyamory is cheating.
  • Polyamory People are at more risk for STIs.
  • People in Polyamory never develop Attachment to any partner.
  • Polyamory is Polygamy.

Polyamory Is All About Physical Relationships

People in polyamory do have Physical relations more often than people in Monogamous Relationships. It doesn’t mean that’s all they want. A person in polyamory also maintains a strong Emotional bond with each Partner.

People In Polyamory Are Afraid Of Commitment

People in Polyamory are not afraid of Commitment On the contrary they are committed to even more partners. And comparing to Monogamous Relationships they are more loyal to their partners. Because they are open to their partners about other relationships they have.

Polyamory is Cheating

Being in a Relation and having External Affair with someone else rather than your partner, And not letting your partner know about it. That is what is considered Cheating. Where people practising polyamory are open about their multiple relationships and people are in Polyamory because they want multiple relationships. So why anyone would have a problem with their partner’s Other relationships where they themselves are in multiple relationships too. Being secretive about your other relationships or Physical involvement with other people in will be cheating. It is the only relationship among all Relationships in which all the partners are aware of other partners and people are open about their other relationships with their partners.

Polyamory People Are At More Risk For STIs

Polyamory does not mean having Intercourse with multiple people. People in Polyamory used to have so many Agreements and the most important agreement among them all is Having a safe Physical relationship. Coz having a physical relationship with multiple people at the same time period is the main reason for STI.

People In Polyamory Never Develop Attachment To Any Partner

When people have something in limited quantity people are afraid to lose it, But when we have that thing in more than enough quantity they are not afraid to lose some of it. Following this same Human Behavior so many people are mistaken about polyamory, when people have more than one partner they don’t feel the same emotional bond with every partner. But it’s not true people tend to have different bodings with their different partners, But every partner does have a strong emotional bond with each other that’s the reason they are committed and in a relationship. They are always there for each other when they need them.

Polyamory Is Polygamy

Everyone usually Mistake Polyamory for Polygamy. In Polyamory-relationships it’s not mandatory that the person will surely get married to certain or multiple partners. They are not bound to society’s rule of marriage they can live with multiple partners at the same time and still not get married to any of them. Where in Polygamy you will get married to certain or multiple partners and have kids or family with them.

Disadvantages Of Polyamory

We have talked all about Polyamory and tried to present it in front of you in a very honest way possible. Now, let’s also talk about some disadvantages of it. First of all the thing, We all should know is Polyamory is not for everyone.

Efforts

We all know that when we are genuine about a relationship we have to put a lot of effort to always make it work and keep a spark in our Monogamous Relationship. Then you can simply imagine how much effort you will have to put into multiple relationships for your every partner to make them feel they hold equal importance in your life as your other partner.

Time Management Is Tough

It will always be difficult for everyone to maintain a healthy work-life and a relationship with multiple people. It’s hard to make everyone happy with your little provided time and You will also have to justify yourself. Everyone also needs time for themselves. Every buddy wants to be alone for some time not so they can find someone else sometimes people just wanna be with themselves for a short time. If you are not good at time management you might find yourself trapped while not doing anything Intentionally wrong.

Financial Challanges Of Polyamory

It’s a tradition that on Birthdays, Valentine’s day, or any other special day or festival we always greet our loved ones with something special to show our love towards them, And when being in polyamory and having multiple partners it could be a bit expensive to buy three valentine’s gift at the same day. Or going on six dates a week. So just keep your pocket filled tight. Brady Williams His five wives and 24 children are a great example of financial expenses you are going to face when you will commit to a Polyamory relationship.

Jealousy

In Polyamory relationships like Hierarchical Polyamory, In which people have Primary, Secondary, and Tertiary. In this kind of relationship, Secondary and Tertiary partners are more likely to get jealous of the Primary partner by seeing the time and priority provided to them. We can not say that it will happen for sure. But according to human behaviour, It’s very normal and we all know that very well.

If you want to learn more about the Disadvantages of Polyamory then you can read Elisabeth A. Sheff PhD, CSE. She has researched Polyamory for 15 years and has pointed out 5 Major Disadvantages of Polyamory Relationships.

Our Word: Polyamory relationship

Polyamory relationship is good for practice. If you are in a Monogany relationship and also want to try or practice a Polyamory relationship, Then you should talk with your partner first and make them understand how things will change after that and focus on being happy with yourself instead of finding happiness in other people or things. Try not to depend on people for your happiness.

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